VALENTINES DAY

Ten Classic Valentines Sayings 1. Love is friendship set on fire. Jeremy Taylor 2. Love is a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor 3. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Jerome K. Jerome 4. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. Elizabeth Barrett Browning 5. 'Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.' Anon 6. For twas not into my ear you whispered but into my heart. Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul. Judy Garland 7. Love is the heart of the soul. Robert Paul 8. A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you. Anon 9. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. Emo Philips 10. I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. Anon Funny Valentine's Day Sayings • I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. • Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. • Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face. • Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not. • I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. • I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! • I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. • My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? • My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe 'Go To Hell'. • What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime ... Love and Marriage • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. • Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. • The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. • When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. • Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man • A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.' • A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.'

DIA DE TODOS LOS SANTOS

All Saints Day in Spain (Todos Los Santos) -November 1st. This religious/national public holiday is very important to the people of Spain. Many people from all over the country will return to their town or village to visit the graves of deceased relatives and lay flowers. The Spanish have two birthdays each year, one is their customary birthday to remember the day they were born. The second is when they celebrate the day of their personal patron saint (usually the one they were named after). However, on November 1st each year, the Feast of All of the Saints is held and this particular public holiday is about remembering family members who have died visit the graves of relatives to decorate them with intricate floral displays. For most people, this is a very emotional day. Often the Eucharist, or Mass, is performed several times during the day in the cemetery. As with many festivals throughout the country a number of special dishes are associated with All Saints’ Day like eating roasted chestnuts, castañas, together with small almond cakes, panellets. The tradition or eating chestnuts originates from the legend of a chestnut seller called Maria La Castañada about whom there are many stories. Apparently the almond cakes are in remembrance of the days when homemade cakes and offerings were left with the bodies of the dead. At this time of the year it is quite usual to see in shops huesos de santo – the saint’s bones – which are made from marzipan, eggs, sugar syrup and buñuelos de viento – puffs of wind – these are doughnuts generously sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. In the 10th century All Saints’ Day was celebrated on May 13th until Popes Gregory III and IV moved it to November 1st because they wanted to counteract the pagan festival, the predecessor of Halloween that was held at that time of the year. It was believed by the ancient Gaels that at this time of the year, often known as the Celtic New Year, was when the boundaries between the living and the dead faded away so the Church linked this with All Saints’ Day. Originally as well as holding vigils this was a time of fasting. What started as a time of remembrance of the Christian martyrs changed into today’s custom of remembering all those who have died. One of the traditions of ‘All Saints Day’ is the enacting of the play Don Juan Tenorio, written by José Zorrilla. The final act of this depiction of Don Juan’s choice between salvation or hell is set in a cemetery with the legendary lover grieving over his betrayal of his dead lover.

Manchester Tragedy

I live in Fuengirola, Costa del Sol, Spain. This morning taking my kids to school we crossed a busy main road with the help of a local policeman, a young man in his twenties. “Why is he wearing a gun?” My nine year old son asked me. “To protect himself” I answered. “From whom?” “From bad people” I replied. “Where are they?” ask my five year old daughter, looking behind her. “They are not here now but he has to have it just in case he needs it.” When we reached the car park my son said “dad why can’t he talk to the bad people like you do to us when we do something wrong, why does he need to shoot them?” “Just because he has a gun it does not mean he is going to use it, I am sure if he meets any bad people he will try to talk to them first.” I started the car and after a few minutes my daughter said “I would shoot them if they were very bad because they do not listen to their parents.” I put music on and we started singing, but I could not help thinking about two young police women in Manchester who met their death by the hand of a bad person who never listened to his parents, if he ever had any.

MOTHERS DAY

"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." ~ Author Unknown

"Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ~ Chinese Proverb

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him." ~ Helen Rowland

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." ~ Peter De Vries

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~ Phyllis Diller

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~ Oscar Wilde

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammeus.

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown

“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." ~ LisaAlther

"My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay." ~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." ~ Buddy Hackett